Kings & Arseholes

Kings & Arseholes - Poker Edition

This is not really a gambling game, but I added it here because we included poker hands and I wanted to keep a record of the rules we used.

Players

4

Equipment

• Standard 52-card deck
  
  

Objective

Be the first player to shed all your cards each round. Positions are ranked based on finishing position for the next deal (King, Vice-King, Arsehole, Vice-Arsehole).

Setup

• Deal everyone 13 cards however you like.

• The first dealer is random (or the Arsehole).
  
  

Gameplay

1. Playing Cards

1. • Players take turns clockwise.

   • Everyone must follow the player before them and play the same number of cards with a hand higher than the previous player.  The following ways to play cards are as follows:

     1. a single card,

     2. a pair

     3. a three of a kind

     4. a five card hand (straight, flush, full house, 4 of a kind with a kicker, straight flush)

   • If you can't match, or beat the last hand played, you announce pass and are out of the round until the pile is cleared.

   • Play continues until all other players pass.
     
     

2. Starting the Round

   • The player with the 3♣ starts by playing it in one of the 4 ways described above.

   • On subsequent rounds, the arsehole goes first.
     
     

3. Clearing the Pile

   • When all players pass, the pile is cleared.

   • The last player to play starts the next round with any card/set.
     
     

4. Round End

   • The first player to run out of cards becomes King for the next round.

   • The second player out is Vice-King.

   • The last player holding cards is the Arsehole.

   • Second-last is the Vice-Arsehole.
     
     

Next Round

• Card Exchange: At the start of each new round:

  • Arsehole gives their best two cards to the King, receiving two cards from the King at their sole discretion.

  • Vice-Arsehole gives their best card to the Vice-King, and receives any card they didn't want.
    
    

Card Rankings (lowest to highest for play)

• 3 (lowest) → 4 → 5 → … → Q → K → A → 2 → 2s (highest).
  
  

The 2 of Spades

• 2s is the highest 2 in the deck and ends the round when played as a single.  

• In poker hands it only counts as the highest card and it's value is related to the hand being played as illustrated in the following examples:

  • A pair of 2's with the 2 of spades would be the highest hand.

  • A flush with a 2 of spades would be the highest flush, but would lose to a full house.  

  • A low straight with a 2 of spades would lose to higher straights.